Weekend Boost No. 164
FINDING CONNECTION IN DIVIDED TIMES
Lately, it feels like every space—from our communities to our workplaces—carries a low hum of tension. Differences in belief, identity, and perspective can quickly harden into distance. But underneath the noise, there’s a shared longing most of us carry: to feel seen, respected, and connected—even when we disagree.
Research shows we often overestimate how painful or confrontational difficult conversations will be, and underestimate our own capacity for empathy. Learning to stay open when things feel polarized isn’t about perfect harmony—it’s about staying in relationship long enough for something new to emerge.
Here are three resources to support you.
“Navigating Divisive Conversations: Why We Underestimate the Benefits” In this conversation, Kristina Wald (Wharton) discusses how people often avoid talking about polarizing topics because they expect more conflict than actually happens, and how we can recalibrate toward more courageous, constructive dialogue.
“Seven Skills to Foster Connection in Divided Times” This piece outlines seven concrete skills (e.g. “see the person, not the label,” “perspective taking,” “find shared identities”) drawn from social science, with suggestions for applying them in everyday life.
“How to Keep a Workplace Happy in a Divided Political Moment” —
This article explores how organizations and leaders can respond when politics bleed into the workplace. It argues that often the more helpful move is not banning speech but cultivating a culture of respect, curiosity, and clear boundaries around process (how we talk) over just content (what we say).
THE PRACTICE
“See the Person, Not the Position”
Choose one conversation or relationship that feels tense or distant—someone whose perspective challenges or frustrates you.
Pause before engagement. Notice what story your mind immediately tells about “who they are.”
Ask yourself three grounding questions:
What matters most to this person beneath their stance?
What’s a shared value or aspiration we both hold?
What do I genuinely want to understand, not argue?
Engage with curiosity. Try one conversation, one question, or one message that invites dialogue instead of defensiveness.
Even small acts of openness create ripple effects. As adrienne maree brown reminds us, “What we practice at the small scale sets the patterns for the whole system.”
